I Ramble Therefor I’m Stupid

Ok, I’m warning you right now, this is pretty much just going to be me rambling.

First off, I saw a guy walking on campus today.  He was wearing a black trench coat and black hat (like the ones they wore in the 1950’s).  In fact, I think everything he was wearing was black.  Following closely was, I assume, his girlfriend wearing…you guessed it…all black.  I thought about this for a moment while I waited for the light to turn green, not because I find those kids scary like they’re going to shoot up a school or something, but because I find them very funny.  See, I assume they dress like that because in their mind, they’re rebelling against what they think we want them to be.  They don’t wear Abercrombie & Fitch clothes, don’t gel their hair, don’t listen to “mainstream” music.  I got news for you guys, you’re not rebelling against anything.  You consider yourself to be above us because you’re not caught up in material things, yet I question, how long did it take you to pick out that coat?  That hat?  How much money did you spend on your all black ensemble?  I’ll bet anything you spent more money and time crafting that look than I did on the outfit I’m wearing today, yet you would consider me to be another sheep.  Just food for thought.

Up until recently I thought that I would be fine with either Clinton or Obama winning the primary.  For the uninitiated, I’m an Obama guy and not just because I’m from Illinois.  I think he can do the most good for this country.  I must say though that recently I’ve been very disappointed with Hilary Clinton.  She’s almost constantly bringing up Obama’s connection with Reverend Jeremiah Wright who has said some fairly controversial things.  In the last debate which was watched by almost no one, she even made an attempt to connect Mr. Obama with Louis Farrakhan under the old six degrees of separation game.  But let me quote the great Stephen Colbert when he was discussing this: “if Obama is supported by Ted Kennedy, who is Catholic, and the Catholic Church is led by a Pope who was in the Hitler Youth, that can mean only one thing: OBAMA LOVES HITLER!”  Quick side note: I’m not Catholic, but I think the current Pope is capable of doing some great things and I’m a fan, but truth is truth…end side note.  What Mrs. Clinton has failed to mention is that after the Monica Lewinski scandal, whom did the Clintons bring to the White House for “spiritual counseling?”  Why, it was the Reverend Jeremiah Wright!  Interesting.  I give Obama credit for not bringing that in to the rhetoric yet.  Again, I don’t particularly dislike Hilary, I’m just disappointed in her lately.

NBA playoffs are going on, and if you like basketball, watch.  Seriously.  There’s some really good ball going on.  The Western Conference is just ridiculously good and there’s some really good series going on in the East.  Here’s my predictions:

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Lakers over Nuggets in 4

Jazz over Rockets in 6

Hornets over Mavs in 7 (this one could be a whole bunch of fun)

Suns over Spurs in 7 (again, could be a TON of fun to watch)

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Celtics over Hawks in 4 (I actually like Atlanta, but they’re vastly overmatched here)

Pistons over 76ers in 5 (I like the Sixers too, but I don’t think they’ll steal another one from Detroit, I think Detroit took them too lightly over the weekend)

Magic over Raptors in 6 (could go the other way if Chris Bosh can figure out how to contain Dwight Howard…which I’m not actually sure is possible)

Cavs over Wizards in 7 (Normally I’d say that Cleveland would win in 5 because I think LeBron can beat this team by himself, but Butler and Arenas are just ridiculously good and Washington believes in themselves)

I like the Pistons over the Celtics in the East, although I could easily see Boston winning.  I actually like Boston, but Detroit’s just too good and they have a big 4 where Boston only has a big 3, so you do the math.

The West is insanely difficult to pick, but I’m going to take the Lakers over the Suns in a fantastic 7 game series.  And even though it pains me greatly because I really hate Kobe, I think that the Lakers will be the champs, especially if Andrew Bynum gets healthy.  Don’t count Detroit out though, they’re physical enough to beat L.A. down and win.  That said though, this is the first time in quite a while where I just have no clue who’s going to win it all.  Should be fun.

NFL draft is this weekend, Jake Long will be the #1 pick.  I’m a firm believer that EVERYTHING in football begins and ends up front.  Left tackle is a notoriously hard position to fill and if there’s a potential franchise LT out there, take him.  Jake Long is that good.  I really like Chris Long (not related to Jake) but I think he goes #2 to St. Louis who need defensive help.  Matt Ryan goes 3 to Atlanta who desperately need a QB and McFadden goes 4 to the Raiders who desperately need everything.  After that, I have no clue.  I just hope my Bears take either an offensive lineman or Rashard Mendenhall at 14.

Baseball’s underway.  My White Sox are in 1st (awesome).  Today on The Score they asked “what’re you most concerned about with both teams (Cubs and Sox…both currently in first)?”  With my Sox, it’s still the bullpen.  Last year we started out on fire (David Aardsma didn’t give up a run until May, then he gave up a bunch), but then the pen fell apart.  The good news is that the lineup is hitting much better than all of last year and Danks and Floyd have been really good.  Jose Contreras still scares me.  I think we’ll need to address that sooner rather than later.  For the Cubs, I’d be concerned about a couple of things.  First off would be Alfonso Soriano.  I thought that they gave him too much money and too many years because he’s older than you think, but this injury is the latest in what’s becoming a long line of them and he may just be too far on the backside of his career to be the player the Cubs thought he’d be.  Kerry Wood concerns me too.  Shockingly, he’s spent 4.5 of his 10 year career on the DL.  Not good.  I’d be mighty worried about the starting pitching too.  Dempster’s been great, Zambrano’s Zambrano, but Lily is currently sporting a 9.16 ERA.  Now that will come down, but I doubt he gets much below 4, which isn’t real good.  I also doubt he wins more than 12 games.  Rich Hill has a much better 3.86 ERA, but just got his first win yesterday.  There’s some cause for concern there.

I can’t wait for Iron Man and The Dark Knight.  I don’t care what you think of me for that.

Finally, I ask a simple question.  If you are a woman, would you stay with a guy for 12 years despite the fact that he clearly has no intention of ever marrying you and treats you generally like a second class citizen?  I sincerely hope you said no.  Someone that I happen to be crazy about is doing just that and it makes absolutely no sense to me.  I’m not going to say I think I’m the greatest catch a woman could get, but I certainly treat women better than that and yet I’ve been single for 5 years and counting.  I’m telling you, there’s no justice in life.

Ah Doogie, You Are So Wise

Neil Patrick Harris, a.k.a. Doogie Houser, is currently one of the stars of How I Met Your Mother.  If you don’t watch it (frankly the ratings suggest you probably don’t…and neither do I), then you might recognize the name of the show solely from a recent, over-hyped guest appearance by one Britney Spears.  Britney wasn’t bad on the show, not that her part was all that big, but still you have to give the girl credit.  There’s been a lot of talk lately, most of which I think is total crap, that Britney’s going to join the cast full time.  You might be asking why?

Well, it’s because her one appearance on the show gave it a ONE MILLION VIEWER BOOST.  Seriously.  One million new viewers just because they wanted to see if she would screw up.  Obviously, the producers and network (CBS) has to take a look at that and think it might be a good idea to offer her a job.  Not if Doogie has anything to say about it though.

NPH said to the press that he really hopes the producers don’t book too many “stunt guests” like that.  Honestly, I agree with him.  The show is very Arrested Development-Esq from the standpoint that anyone who watches it loves it and wants you to watch it too, but you don’t.  Imagine if A.D. had taken to booking the likes of Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Simpson, Barry Bonds, and yes Britney Spears just to try and boost ratings.  On one hand, you could get a million new viewers who might stick with you, but at what cost?  Hardcore fans of the show, the ones who have lobbied tirelessly to keep you on the air, will most likely feel somewhat betrayed, or at the very least ask why.  But could it buy you another day?  Maybe.

Remember, TV is a for-profit business.  Ratings = revenue which is what the guys and gals that sign your paycheck want.  Now, from an artistic standpoint, is Doogie right?  Absolutely.  His show probably doesn’t need to book “stunt guests” to stay on the air.  After all, they’ve been on this long with no real threat of cancellation.  Is he going to get his wish?  Probably not.  Just look at how many guest stars Will and Grace trotted out over the years, and they didn’t even need the ratings help. 

But let me say this CBS, Britney Spears isn’t the answer.  You got your million viewer bump from her, and you might get another bump if you bring her back, but if you put her on the show full time, the novelty of it wears off mighty quickly and you’ll be stuck with an overpaid ticking time bomb.  So I think that before he makes any rash decisions, Les Moonves (head of the CBS TV division) should ask himself “What would Doogie do?”  Really when you think about it, we all should before we do anything.  I mean he graduated from Harvard at like 9 years old!

Bartman, 5 Years Later

Remember this guy?

 

That is the unfortunate Steve Bartman.  A guy who was widely blamed for adding to the Cubs 100 years without a World Series win.  I bring him up because I heard something on a sports talk radio station today that sparked a small argument at work.  A station in Chicago does a weekly segment in the afternoon called “Who you crappin’?”  The premise is simple, you find someone who may have engaged in some double talk or just general stupidity, and you “crap” them.  Moises Alou, who is the Cub player in the picture and currently plays for the Mets, was crapped last week.  Before we get in to why, if you don’t know the story of the 2003 NLCS, click here and scroll down to Game 6.

After the game, Alou claimed that he was just about positive he would’ve caught that ball.  Last week, Alou was asked about the incident and told the press “I doubt I would’ve caught it anyways.”  Hmmm, interesting.  Thus, we see why Alou was crapped.

I mentioned this at work and it sent the guy I was talking to in to a fit.  He claimed that Bartman interfered and cost the Cubs and blah blah blah.  Let’s look at the picture above.  That’s the exact incident in question here.  Is Steve Bartman (in the hat) in the field of play?  Maybe.  It’s hard to tell from that angle.  I honestly can’t tell if he’s over the railing or not.  Here’s what I do know, look at Alou’s glove.  To me, it doesn’t look like it’s far enough over to get the ball.  I think Alou mistimed the jump and he’s already on his way down in that picture.  In other words, he’s not going to be able to catch that ball because there’s too much of the wall in his way.  The umpire agreed and did not rule fan interference.

Now what really kills me is after the game, media interviewed other people that were in that section, or at least claimed to be, and all of them swore, SWORE that they knew that Alou was going to catch the ball and thus, did not even think about, let alone attempt to catch the foul ball.  Really?  Look at the picture again.  Look at the guy in the gray jacket.  He’s clearly going for the ball (just for laughs, check out the guy in the blue that’s between Bartman and the guy in the jacket recoiling in fear like “Oh my God it’s a baseball!”…makes me laugh).  Notice the hand behind scared guy’s head.  Again, clearly going for the ball.  I would also argue that the two guys behind Bartman are going for the ball as well, but that’s probably up for debate.  Point is, if it hadn’t been Steve Bartman going for that ball, it would’ve been someone else.  There’s a minimum of 3 people going after the ball.  That’s what you do when a foul ball or home run is coming for you, you try to catch it.  I’ve caught 2 foul balls in my day, neither time did I think “wait, I might interfere with the play, I should wait.”  No, each time I thought, “hey that’s coming right at me, I better catch it before it breaks my face.”

Here’s the ultimate point to all this: Steve Bartman wasn’t at fault.  He didn’t doink a routine double play ball that would’ve ended the inning, Alex Gonzalez did.  Steve Bartman didn’t leave Mark Prior in despite the fact that he was out of gas, Dusty Baker did.  Just like the 1986 Red Sox blamed Bill Buckner, you can blame Bartman if it makes you feel better, but it wasn’t his fault.  Just like the 86 Sox, the Cubs had another game to play.  9 whole innings, 27 outs, to get in to the World Series.  They didn’t do it and even if they had, there’s no guarantee they would’ve beaten the Yankees.  Steve Bartman didn’t deserve death threats, but he got them.  So to any and all Cub fans that are still angry over this, I say grow up.  It wasn’t his fault and it wasn’t a billy goat’s fault.  The team, and only the team, is at fault.

The Fairweather Fan, Nature’s Moron

Yesterday, I went to one of my more favored sandwich shops to grab dinner.  At this particular place, they grill up the meat once you order (part of the appeal for me) so you have to wait a few minutes for your food.  No big deal.  I sat and watched the end of the UCLA-Memphis game (don’t get me started, let’s just say I had UCLA winning it all over UNC so I’m not having a good weekend) and some guy who was sitting by himself felt the need to strike up a conversation with me.  Now, let me start by saying I really hate when people do that.  It just bugs me.  Anyways, he tells me that UNC will be the next to fall, which it turned out he was right, but then he starts telling me how University of Illinois Men’s head basketball coach Bruce Weber is going to leave for the newly vacated Marquette job.  This guy then tells me he’s glad because Weber isn’t a good coach and Illinois will hire Coach K (nope, not even going to try to spell his last name) from Duke.

Where do I begin to tell this guy how dumb he is?

Let’s start with Coach K…

If he didn’t leave Duke to coach the L.A. Lakers (you know, the team with that Kobe guy) when they threw a ridiculous amount of money at him, then Coach K isn’t about to leave for Illinois.  In fact, I don’t think he’ll leave Duke until he retires, which I respect.  So that’s this guy’s dumbass moment #1.

Now for the Weber comments, and this goes for just about 90% of the “fans” in this town…

Bruce Weber is one of the best coaches in the country.  Read that again.  If you truly are an Illinois fan, pray to whatever higher power you believe in that Weber never, ever leaves.  Bruce Weber has done more with some mediocre to flat out bad teams than most coaches ever could.  I contend that in 2005 when Illinois went to the “National Title Game That Never Happened”, they got there in no small part because of Weber’s coaching.  Bill Self, whom Weber took over for after he left for Kansas, would not have gotten that team that far.  They would have lost more than one regular season game and they never would’ve gotten past Arizona in the Elite Eight.  That’s just the truth.  Now I know, you’re thinking “hey wait, Self’s Kansas Jayhawks are going to play for the title tomorrow night” but let’s just wait and see what Memphis does to them.  My guess is they’ll take Kansas apart big time, but I digress.

Yes, this past season was terrible.  Yes, Coach Weber deserves some of the blame because he didn’t land the recruits necessary to prevent this.  I readily concede those points.  However, let’s look at this last season realistically. 

Strike 1 against Weber – Jamar Smith was arguably the best player Illinois would’ve had this year, however due to your standard college kid stupidness, he was suspended for the year.  That, as much as certain people want to blame it on him, is not Bruce Weber’s fault.  If you think losing a guy who would’ve been good for 15 to 20 points a game doesn’t hurt you, you don’t know basketball at all.

Strike 2 against Weber – Eric Gordon.  What can I say that hasn’t already been said?  Did Kelvin Sampson do some shady dealing to get Gordon to go to Indiana?  It certainly looks that way.  Can anyone blame Bruce Weber for that?  Not if you have a functioning brain cell in your head.  The only way to counter that is to cheat more than the other guy cheating.  Bruce Weber doesn’t work that way, and I commend him for it.  If it means we miss out on guys like Eric Gordon, so be it.

Strike 3 – Recruiting in general.  Yes, he deserves some blame here, he will tell you that.  But before you cruicify Bruce Weber for missing out on the Derek Roses and Eric Gordons of the world, remember, only one school gets those guys.  Rose went to Memphis, Gordon to Indiana.  That means the great Coach K failed in recruiting them.  Roy Williams at UNC failed.  Billy Donnovan at Florida, Rick Pitino at Louisville, Bill Self at Kansas, Billy Gillespie at Kentucky and so on and so on failed.  Get the point here?

This is the bottom line, you don’t get to blame a guy for one (1) losing season.  By the way, look it up, since he’s been at Illinois, this was the first losing season coach Weber’s had.  Great players can overcome bad coaching, great coaching can’t overcome bad players and we had some bad players.  Believe me when I say that getting rid of Brian Randle, who is by all accounts a great kid, and Shaun Pruitt will help tremendously.  The team will be better next year, they’ll be good in 2009, they’ll be great in 2010.  Every program has down years, so back off.  Either support the team, or don’t.  I don’t care which.  Just pick one and go with it, but DO NOT DARE talk about how great a coach is when everything’s coming up roses, and how terrible he is when things inevitably go bad.

As always with these types of things, if you think you can do better, apply for the job.