197. That’s what the scale read today. Argh.
You see, most of my life I’ve been a bit on the heavy side. I’m 5’9″ so at 197 I’m by no means the person you see walking down the street and think “wow they could drop of a heart attack at any moment.” However, I should weigh about 165 according to the BMI that doctors use. My lifetime of pudge is due to being a junk food addict. I love all things bad for me, but I don’t like the way that junk food makes me look and feel.
In January of 2010 I was tired of not liking the way I looked, so I did something about it. I went on NutriSystem with the goal of weighing 170 by May 1. “But wait, aren’t you supposed to weigh 165?” you say to no one. Technically yes, however I have had medical professionals tell me the BMI is a rough estimate that doesn’t account for things like how you’re built. For example, I’m not ever going to be stick thin. I’m not built that way. I have broad shoulders and thick thighs that allowed me to leg press 1,000 pounds in high school (true story). So I thought that 170 was a pretty good weight for me to be at.
I stuck to the NutriSystem diet, worked out at least 4 days a week, and wouldn’t you know it? May 1 came around and I weighed 170. It was great! That was probably a top 5 day in my life. It’s not easy to lose weight. You’re body doesn’t actually want to drop the pounds even if that’s the healthier thing for you, so it’s a tough time when you’re trying. Looking in the mirror and actually doing the hold-your-now-fat-pants-out thing was just an awesome moment for me.
The weight loss had other side effects: I felt 2,000% better than I ever had in my life. Since I was now eating fruits and vegetables on a regular basis instead of burritos and ice cream, my body functioned better. I slept better, I had more energy, I was able to focus at work better, my mental and emotional health improved. It was just better.
In November of 2010 I took a new job. I don’t regret that as it was time to leave my old one and this job offered more earning potential and I needed a new car. At that time I weighed 175. The 5 pound gain was most definitely muscle as I was now working out not to lose weight, but to burn off the remaining (small) belly I had and to add muscle. It was working. I started my new job the week of Thanksgiving, and for about a month I commuted 45 minutes each way as I searched for an apartment in my new town. This cut my gym time down to zero and created a situation where I was eating on the road, a/k/a eating like crap again. I didn’t like it, but I told myself once I got moved over and settled in, I would join a gym and get back to eating healthy. I meant it too. I actually missed working out and eating salads.
I was told I could get a membership at the Y for $10 through work. They said I might as well wait until the first of the year because I would end up having to pay twice if I didn’t, so I waited until January 1, 2011 and joined the Y. I went there pretty frequently at first, but I found I didn’t really enjoy working out there all that much, so I stopped going.
I was also in a new relationship, so on most weekends after I had moved over to my new town, I would drive back to my old town to see my girlfriend. We ate out for every meal all weekend. This is bad.
Soon I was told that a brand new gym would open and they wanted me and my little radio show to endorse them in exchange for a free membership. Cool! New gym opened roughly 6 months after they were supposed to (hey, things happen) and FINALLY I started working out again. After close to a year of poor eating and no exercise I was now tipping the scales at about 185. Not great, but not terrible.
I began working out at new gym and quickly discovered I wasn’t wild about it either. It was shiny and new, but it was also very loud and didn’t present a great environment for me to work out in. I know plenty of people who aren’t bothered by that, and that’s great, but it bothers me and makes me not want to go there. They did have really nice locker rooms though.
At this point, I wasn’t happy with myself at all, but I had kind of given up. I talked plenty about eating better, etc. but it wasn’t happening. In June of this year the lady and I moved in together and prior to moving I started stress eating for a variety of work and moving related issues and hit 195.
Last week I started watching my diet more closely and felt like I had dropped a few pounds. 197 today. I am not pleased.
However, I have found a gym with TWO locations in town that I think will work nicely for me, and I will be joining them this week. I am also, as of right now, declaring publicly for the world to see my intentions to rededicate myself to eating right. My goal is to be at or near 170 by November 16.
This blog, which up to now has been basically dormant, is not supposed to serve as weight loss blog. It is rather my intention to use this space as a way to hold myself accountable. I’m planning on not doing NutriSystem this time around, not because I hated it the first time, I actually rather enjoyed their diet plan, but because I think I need to show myself I can do this without the help. I know what I need to do, now I just need to do it.
If you did stumble here and are looking for help/motivation/whatever with your weight loss goals, then stay tuned. I might be able to help with that. That’s my hope anyways.
195 next week is the goal.